feeling blue

Yes tonight is one of those nights that I would cry my eye balls out. won't state why here, but just keep it in my heart and just let things happens and just cry inside and be happy outside. Tonight is one of those nights when I think, am I being such a good gf? A good daughter? A good friend? A good sister? Tonight is one of those nights when I think back of my past relationships and say "hey. My relationships failed. and maybe, it's because I'm one psychopath who they're sick of!" Tonight is one of those nights that I would try and be happy but I couldn't stop looking at my phone and wishing he would do something. and yes, he asked if i'm ok after an hour later and I just said "i'm ok. :)" But instead, I was crying infront of the screen.

Yes, tonight is one of those nights that I think to myself, I've tried everything I could possibly do at my reach to please people. To make people proud. To not let them be disappointed. I've tried my best. But I would only get myself hurt by feeling left out, unappreciated, ashamed of, don't want to be included, forgettable,etc. After all the efforts I made to not let them down. Well, maybe that's pretty much of my life then. From now on, I'll just be an idiot to be selfish. It wouldn't make much difference anyways since I'm not .. much be bothered. :) because with or without me, you can just carry on with ur life.




thought after you knew I cheated death twice, you would appreciate and cherish me even more. take more initiative to be part of my life. but maybe, u're also the type of person who will regret when u lose something. :) tc. ulit